“This feeling of merging entirely with the beloved is perilous as it literally is like a drug that can quickly pull you down in to a powerful vortex of craving and yearning, whilst at the same time feels intoxicatingly sublime and perfectly right.” Helen Mia Harris
In the video above I’ve described the main signs of an Addiction to Love and Romance. How much do you relate to each of the problematic approaches I introduced in the video? As before, feel free to write things down in your notebook. You could give each of the items below a score from 1 to 10. 1 being low and 10 being high.
- Constantly searching for romance. Quickly becoming fixated on one person unbeknown to them.
- Falling in love with people online/in chatrooms before actually meeting them in person.
- Mistaking intense sexual experiences or romantic infatuation for love.
- Enslaved to emotional dependency and romantic intrigue.
- Obsessing about someone, and can’t let go even if they are unavailable or toxic.
- Withdrawal/rejection is experienced as an extreme intensity of loss, panic and abandonment.
- Choosing unavailable people which then trigger abandonment.
- When love addiction and emotional pain is confused with romantic love.
- Feel overly familiar with the person of addiction, a likeness most like ourselves (soul mate).
- You confuse sex with love and offer sex in the hope of receiving love.
- The relationship becomes the centre of your universe and your main/only source of happiness and meaning.
- You have an inability to focus on or think about anything else.
Which one of the above do you most relate to?
Choosing the one above that you most identify with. Imagine your best friend had this as a problem and asked you for advice. Come up with three bits of advice that you would you tell them to do, to help them move on from this pattern. Make sure at least one of the bits of advice is something tangible and practical.