If you are stuck in an addictive relationship you may find these practical tips of benefit:
- Do something you are passionate about. Choose something that gives your life meaning and purpose. Remember, this has happened to you as you have “projected” all that you are, and all your passion onto the person of addiction.
- Stop seeking approval and validation from others. Remember, it is only YOU who can accomplish this. Self-validation is the only thing that matters.
- Stop “abandoning” yourself in the relationship. This way you can finally find autonomy and emotional self-reliance.
- Remember that it’s OK to be alone. If you’ve been stuck in a destructive relationship cycle, it’s BETTER to be alone for a while. And don’t worry; you will survive the pain of romantic love withdrawal.
- Know that you CAN survive without the person of addiction. Love withdrawal can feel as if a part of your body has been amputated. But believe me, YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS!
- Each day give yourself at least three things to do that will reflect your new-found independence. Doing this will strengthen your ability to take care of yourself, and build emotional self-reliance.
- Make choices that impact the way you live in a POSITIVE way. Don’t allow yourself to play the role of victim. Instead, make decisions that reflect your strength as a man or woman.
- Surround yourself with a network of people, friends or family that you can turn to and be completely yourself with. I say this because many people will isolate themselves, which can often cause more distress, and increase feelings of loss and loneliness.
These practical tips are taken directly from the workbook which is part of my ‘The Love Addiction and Heartbreak Recovery Programme‘ which contains over 9 hours of videos plus guided meditations and eBooks all to help you move into a happier and healthier place.
What to do next?
It is also wise to have face-to-face grief and loss counselling or relationship therapy as this program is by no means the absolute cure for the acute despair one can experience at this devastating time. Again, if you are experiencing: panic, depression, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, anxiety or separation distress, it is vital that you also make an appointment with your local General Practitioner; this can be coupled by seeing a registered therapist or psychoanalyst in your local area.
“Just think of the trees: they let the birds perch and fly, with no intention to call them when they come and no longing for their return when they fly away. If people’s hearts can be like the trees, they will not be off the way.”
— Langya Puerto Vallarta
If you feel you need to speak with me I am available for Skype consultations or in person if you are based in the UK. My clinic is in Sevenoaks, Kent. To enquire about a Skype session or a one to one with me please email firstname.lastname@example.org.