Why can I not let go?

The fear of abandonment in an addictive relationship Throughout my career as a couples’ therapist and love addiction specialist, I have seen countless people clinging desperately to a relationship that they know is harming them. Whether they know this explicitly or on some deeper level is different from person to person, but they do know. Dealing [...]

What does is mean to be a “love addict”?

What does it mean to be a "love addict"? A "love addict" is someone who becomes dependent on, and enmeshed with, a relationship and the attention of another, to the extent that their life becomes unmanageable. The love addict typically demands an exaggerated level of reassurance, and needs to know immediately that the love they [...]

3 Ways to Defeat Love Withdrawal

When a relationship ends, the love addict is plunged into love addiction withdrawal, a state not dissimilar to coming off a drug, because in essence, that’s exactly what it is. Here are 3 ways to defeat love withdrawal and come out the other side stronger, and more emotionally independent. Forgive yourself if you are stuck [...]

8 Practical Tips to Help You Break Free

If you are stuck in an addictive relationship you may find these practical tips of benefit: Do something you are passionate about. Choose something that gives your life meaning and purpose. Remember, this has happened to you as you have “projected” all that you are, and all your passion onto the person of addiction. Stop [...]

Is your relationship mutually balanced?

Is your relationship in balance? As a relationship therapist, couples’ counsellor and love addiction specialist, my experience has taught me that the way we love is often at the heart of an emotionally withholding, damaging, addictive and co-dependent relationship. And the way we love is ultimately influenced by whether or not the love equilibrium is [...]

Loving too much is not a love story

Loving too much is not a love story: surviving an addictive relationship Loving too much is when “being in love is experienced as being in emotional pain,” Robin Norwood (Women Who Love Too Much, 1985). For over 25 years I have been working as a relationship therapist, grief counsellor, couples’ therapist and a specialist [...]

Heartbreak: why do we get heartbroken – and how do we survive it?

Heartbreak: why do we get heartbroken – and how do we survive it? In my work as a professional relationship counsellor, couples’ therapist and love addiction specialist, I work every day with people who know first-hand the emotional pain of heartbreak, and the traumatic aftermath of rejection and loss. Whilst thinking about the emotional [...]

The Secret to a Stronger Emotional Connection in Your Relationship or Marriage

7 ways to save your marriage How to Save a Failing Marriage! You and your partner may feel as if you are "living alone together", which is often the first sign of a failing marriage or relationship. One that has lost its way. A relationship which is broken lacks communication and so you [...]