In an ideal world, each of us would have our significant other happily by our side; our partner in life would willingly support us, uplift us, nurture and celebrate us. But the pressures of life mean that sometimes our relationship with one of the most important people in our life begins to suffer.
Under the stresses and strains that the world continually throws at us, we can eventually find ourselves in a situation where we start to feel that we would be better off separated, or divorced, from that person.
These moments can be some of the most distressing times in a person’s life, bringing shattering feelings of confusion, uncertainty, anger and loss, perhaps leading to anxiety or depression, feelings of panic or abandonment, and physical effects such as weight or hair loss, headaches, and insomnia. Having a trusted expert to lean on in such times can prove invaluable.
Wondering whether you should break up with your partner?
If you are unhappy in a relationship and wondering whether separation or divorce is the right move for you, expert marriage coach and relationship therapist Helen Mia Harris can help you to explore your feelings, your fears, and your desires, before you commit to any particular course of action. She can help you to understand any triggers that may exist, provoking challenges or feelings of conflict. Becoming aware of your “Reaction and Response” can radically change how you view interactions that take place between you and your partner and help you to address any repeating destructive patterns. With time, you will find clarity, and will be able to address what to do next. That may be to split up, in which case Helen is able to provide you with contacts for mediation if necessary, or you may find that you want to begin an open and honest dialogue with your partner in order to restore your relationship to its former glory, this time armed with the tools you will both need to stay on track.
Couples in crisis
As a couples’ therapist, Helen can help you and your partner explore together the issues that you are facing both separately and as a couple. There are so many reasons why a relationship can begin to falter. A loss of respect is extremely common – giving credence to the notion that “familiarity breeds contempt”. A loss of connection and passion can swiftly follow, leaving two people unhappily living separate lives in the same house, unable to connect or communicate in any way other than defensively, or even aggressively.
When a relationship is crisis, it can be extremely difficult to move on from feelings of anger and hostility to a place where both partners want to reach an amicable agreement – whether that is to stay together or to part. Helen’s expert skills in handling these very difficult emotions mean that you both have a safe place to discuss the more difficult aspects of your relationship openly and without recriminations. You can find clarity and understanding of what has gone wrong between you, and with guidance you can arrive at a place where you agree on the next step. If that should be that you decide to part, Helen can provide you with the details of local experts in mediation and divorce. If you decide that you both want to give the relationship everything you have before reaching that point, Helen’s practical couples’ therapy will provide you with everything you need to give yourselves the best possible chance of success.
You know you want to break up; so why aren’t you feeling happier?
You as an individual may have already reached the decision that parting, whether a trial separation or a permanent break-up or divorce, is the next step to take. But instead of finding peace of mind, you find that you are double-guessing yourself, questioning motives, reliving the happier times, and experiencing overwhelming feelings of sadness.
Reaching a decision doesn’t always make it any easier to deal with, but many people find that hard to understand. If they’ve reached a decision that they believe in, why don’t they feel happier?
The truth is that there is still a lot of grief to process, and we should never underestimate the pain that the loss of a relationship can bring with it. The relationship you thought you were in hasn’t gone the way you had hoped and dreamed. You may feel you have wasted many years of your life. You may feel that you have been duped in some way, or even that you should have known from the beginning how things would end.
With her years of experience, Helen can gently guide you through this minefield of torturous emotions, enabling you to give words to your deepest feelings. Talking out loud allows us to process information slightly differently, and by speaking with Helen through the different painful elements that you are struggling with, you too can reach a place of comfort and acceptance, from where you can move forward with peace and understanding.