Relationship Counselling – Part Two Chemical Reactions In The Body In Love: Rejection & Exclusion
When we experience the overwhelming feelings of love and receptivity towards another, there “literally” are fluctuations in the levels of various neurochemicals released through the body, such as; Serotonin (often used for people who suffer from depression) Dopamine (released with physical exercise) and Oxytocin which is sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” and is linked with all kinds of healthy and feel good emotions such as; joy, generosity, empathy, trust and parent/child bonding. When a child is born, the Oxytocin once experienced with the beloved can be transferred on to the new born baby, leaving the partner feeling rejected and excluded, although in many cases it has been known to deepen the relationship as the “feel good” hormones continue to flood the senses with warmth and connection.
The overview I have given above regarding the many landscapes of love would make for a profound state of being if we were to remain in such realms of happiness and joy for ever. Often what will occur is a different profound form of love which the Greeks referred to as; Eros, a passionate love, while agape is described as the stable, long lasting and committed relationship, free from being blinded by love, towards a creative cultivating love, rich and respectful.
Agape can exist between two individuals who care deeply and unconditionally towards one another. For many, both Eros and Agape remain finely balanced and experienced as a sense of union and connection towards the other which is in a constant state of growing and deepening. It is impossible to define love and when it gets difficult, this once mysterious, inspiring and enigmatic feeling, crumbles leaving us bereft with any number of difficulties and relationship challenges.
Rather like coming down from a high, a sudden change can occur within the relationship for any number of reasons, to name a few; indifference, power struggles, co-dependency, loss of a loved one, rejection, abandonment, jealousy, betrayal, loss of trust, insecurity, unrequited love, loving too much, too little and countless other matters of the heart that are ignited when we become closely connected to a significant person for whom we feel devoted to…so where do we fall when we fall in love? It is by far the greatest mystery to humankind for those who have been lucky enough to touch it….even from a distance…..